I am here, now, breathing

I am here now

I am here, now, breathing
Not who I was before, not who i will be
Hating you for betrayal, but ever more hating myself
For falling, believing words from song of love
There not enough letters in the alphabet to depict
The anger towards my guilelessness

Alive, walking, talking, eating, sleeping
All functioning in place , alas something is missing
Some important element of soul chipped off
Making the void in already fragile ecosystem
I died so many times since that fateful meeting
Arising to adjust the level of the pain , how much i bear
Starting get use to the burning , learning to live with it
And asking heart " Can i forgive completely?"
The answer always not , remember your wings are made of paper
Can catch the fire from the slightest provocation

by Margaret Gudkov